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Saturday, June 19, 2010

An Offensive Adventure

It all sounded so good in the planning stage. It was to be a culinary, educational, gastronomic delight adventure (but not all at the same time).

Now i have not had to be in a class at 7:45 am since college and even then they were few and far between. So we decided that if we had to be somewhere in the wee hours we should treat ourselves to pastries from the Corner Bakery (located in the middle of the block). BUT when we got there at 7:15 they were CLOSED!!!! Now what bakery in the civilized world closes on a SATURDAY morning?????? AND during tourist season…. (that’s when Beatrice reminded me where we were). SOOOO down the road we flew (no combine parade today) to Kate’s Cupboard and got there at 7:30. BUT were they open????? NO!!!! not till 8 am….. OK, no problem, well not a big one at least since the Yellow Duck was right around the corner (about 5 miles)…. BUT AGAIN not open till 8 am….

It was now 7:45… Last hope was Food Lion where we ran in, grabbed muffins, and ran out…. Later to find out that they were yesterdays muffins (does anyone see me NOT smiling?????)

As we ran into class at 8:05 we found no seats except IN THE FRONT!!!!!..  No sneaking in on this one. So there we were for the next 8 hours,,, learning to drive offensively ES Style. So what did we learn in these 8 hours??????

1. When driving with pets in the car make sure they are securely held in your lap so they don’t fly around during a crash.

2. When entering an interstate slow down at the end of the ramp, look both ways, put your signal on and wait for a break in the traffic to pull out.

3. When encountering a friend driving the opposite direction it is OK to stop in the middle of the road to chat.

4. If the driver behind you starts beeping his horn when the traffic light turns green immediately turn off your car, get out and see if they need help.

5. The lines in a parking lot are there only as suggestions as to where to park.

6. If you hit a deer, pull to the side of the road, place the dead deer (don’t try this with a live one) somewhere in or on your vehicle and head to the butcher quickly.

After just two muffins, an apple, and two bottles of water i was starved. Luckily we were just around the corner from ‘Franco’s’ where we had a great meatball and extra cheese pizza.

And they lived happily after all (BURP!!!)

4 comments:

Anvilcloud said...

Blogging about your day makes it all though. Doesn't it? :)

Lois Evensen said...

Grenville, I really like the first item. We have two Labrador Retrievers. They would love to be safely seated in our laps when we are driving. Sure thing!

Grenville T. Boyd said...

Good Morning Anvil and Lois,
I enjoy blogging about our days to show the funny side of life. Too many folks (especially here)have lost their funny bonez. Here on the shore only 'Damn Yankees' and proper southern lady's with yappy mutts hold them in their laps. Real Shore Dogs ride in the back of the 'pickemup'.

possum said...

Dude, you forgot the proper name for item #3 - it is called an Eastern Shore Conference. You really gotta get caught up on local slang here! A friend was here the other day and traffic started to back up in front of the house... she asked, is there an accident? I said, "No, just an ES conference."
"Oh, OK," she said and sat back down.

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