First, a few words to say Thank You all for your comments on the recent post celebrating the 14th anniversary of this blog and so it continues. And, now so does this post.
 |
| Internet source |
Writing about loneliness, I thought of song titles with lonely in them. (Feel free to test your memory, then check out a list of songs at the end of this post. Some trivia included to lighten up a serious issue.)
While loneliness isn't new to the human experience, experts say it's worsened in recent years and today has become a serious issue affecting young and old, not only in the US but worldwide.
Recent news articles have liked it to a public crises, some calling it an epidemic. Yes, another one that's ongoing it seems.
Besides making some feel miserable, loneliness also affects mental and physical health, a lethal combination. Like illnesses that prove deadly (heart issues, dementia, stroke) loneliness can have the same effect and has even led to early deaths.
What is loneliness?
According to some experts, loneliness occurs when the connections a person needs in life are greater than the connections they have in life.
 |
| Internet source |
Not everyone feels loneliness the same way or for the same reason. Because it’s subjective, it's believed to be experienced at various stages throughout a person's life. Also, it can change due to trauma, illness or the effects of aging, sometimes more than one of these.
Interestingly, younger people have reported the highest rates of loneliness accelerated by social media replacing human interaction. While "likes" and "followers" can make someone feel good in the moment, they don't foster genuine connections with others.
Other populations reporting a high prevalence of loneliness and isolation include those with poor physical and mental health, disabilities, financial insecurity, those living alone, single parents and senior adults. That last group came as no surprise to me.
Struggling with loneliness doesn’t mean that you’re broken or that something is wrong with you. Experts say recognition and awareness are important first steps to escaping loneliness and that building social connections is to be a vital importance.
Sometimes that can be easier said than done, especially among older adults with friends and family at a distance, which includes myself. In my case, reading, cooking, exercising, getting outdoors and blogging are all great connectors for me.
And, I know firsthand how much pleasure correspondence and phone calls can bring folks who are older and/or living alone as I keep in contact with several folks older than myself. Here at the mill apartments, I play Scrabble regularly with a 93-year old resident who often wins.
 |
| Current LAI Flyer |
According to the website, during the Covid-19 pandemic, two sisters, Shreya and Saffron, supported their isolated grandparents through daily phone calls. Soon, they realized that other seniors deprived of the ability to see visitors or interact with others were lonely too. The sisters began writing handwritten letters to residents of assisted living facilities and care homes.
When the growing demand for letters outpaced their ability to keep up, they started LAI which has since expanded to serve thousands of seniors in five countries: US, Canada, UK, Australia, and Israel. There's something special about receiving a letter as many seniors grew up with this method of correspondence.
Since April 2020, LAI has sent over half a million letters and cards to over 20,000 seniors worldwide. Over 22,000 volunteers belong to the LAI community. These volunteers come from over 15 countries worldwide and all 50 states. The organization has been featured in major news outlets: The Washington Post, NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, ABC, The Drew Barrymore Show, Good Morning America and MSNBC.
 |
| Internet source |
If you decide to participate, every other week, LAI will send a portal where you can sign up to send letters to care homes in the five countries it serves. You can write as many letters as you want, keeping in mind that the letters will be brightening days. Keep them cheerful and creative: postcards, jokes, word games, artwork is always good to include, but no gifts. Stumped for ideas on how or what to write? The LAI website and blog has lots of suggestions, many from volunteers.
Letters are sent in physical form, not email. Last week, I sent letters to facilities in TX, MN and IN and expect to send more in the next couple of weeks and beyond. It's one way of helping others feel less lonely, truthfully it helps me feel connected as well. You might feel the same.
Helpful Tips: Buying stationary supplies can be costly (and we won't even talk about postage), but Dollar Tree stores and perhaps other stores sell packages of blank note cards.
Also, if there's a senior center you attend, very often there's an excess of donated blank cards with colorful fronts. This week, I shared details about LAI to the coordinator of the senior center that we're attend in NH. She invited me to take as many as you would like, which I did. Several blank cards contained heart images, perfect for Hearts ♥️ Day notes.
❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
As for popular songs that include Lonely in the title, how many could you name?
I named less than 10 on this list. There's more I'm sure. Feel free to add any in a comment.
Only the Lonely (Roy Orbison), Lonely Teenager (Dion), Mr. Lonely (Bobby Vinton), Lonely Teardrops (Jacke Wilson), Lonely Man & Are You Lonely Tonight (Elvis Presley), I've Been Lonely Too Long (Young Rascals), Lonely Man Am I (Temptations)
Hey There Lonely Boy (Ruby & the Romantics), Hey There Lonely Girl (Eddie Holman), Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (The Beatles), Ask the Lonely (Four Tops), More Lonely Nights (Paul McCartney), Lonely Boy (Paul Anka), Lonely People (America), So Lonely (The Police), One Lonely Night (Reo Speedwagon), Love or Let Me Be Lonely (Friends of Distinction)
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight (Isley Brothers), Lonely Man & Are You Lonely Tonight (Elvis Presley), Have You Ever Been Lonely & Seven Lonely Days (Patsy Kline), Ask the Lonely (The Four Tops), Lonely Weekends (Charlie Rich), The Lonely Bull (Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass), Lonely Days (The BeeGees), Only the Lonely (The Motels)
20 comments:
One is seldom lonely when in the company of books, good books, books that challenge, books that confront life in all its diversity, good and bad, with frankness and honesty - in many regions of your country book banning will mean increased isolation. How sad.
It seems absurd that there’s a loneliness epidemic when everyone is so connected by texts, emails and social media. We can easily and quickly communicate with people all over the world. However, I think younger generations are ‘brainwashed’ into believing through social media that they don’t have as many friends, experiences, etc, as everyone else and that is why they think they are lonely.
Covid also really did a number on people with the isolation and many are still experiencing the after effects of that.
Thank you for the information! I’ll let you know how it goes.
I live alone, because David is hospitalized. But, I do invite people over for lunch, and that warms my heart.
Great post, thank you!
LAI looks like a good thing to consider.
Chronic lonliness at times spikes to a near physical painl. Pushing yourself to extend or create a social network takes a lot of strength. Don't give up. It can be done.
I broke out of a severe episode this last year.
What I noticed along the way is store clerks. They have their ups and down days like everyone else. But every day? There are customers who may not speak to another person all week, except for the store clerks they encounter. There's a local place with a clerk that I think hasn't smiled in years. I avoid checkouts with grumpy clerks. Thankfully, around here, the majority are always in a good mood.
Interesting topic!
Family is what prevents/eases loneliness. All the others are fake substitutes.
If for some reason, family is inexistent or becomes estranged, then loneliness should be viewed individually to see if something can be done to help.
Loneliness can also happen to people with people around them. You may have people in your life, but if they are not filling something you need, it can make you lonely. It can be tough as you get older to find people who share the same 'wants". Of course loneliness because you don't have a lot of social contact can be a lot worse. Social media doesn't help just with making loneliness either. It can really diminish how people feel about themselves. Especially teenagers and younger people. Have fun writing letters. hugs-Erika
I see how I could become lonely if something happened to Sue, for my circle is tiny and spasmodic.
great idea for those who like writing letters. I am not a letter writer, but for those who love writing letters it is a super idea . it would be a great idea for people to visit nursing homes, i did that for 8 years, walk the halls and stop and talk. that would make them happy and the lonely people not so lonely.
I do believe that all the tech stuff I love is at the root cause of people feeling lonely. if we did away with all electronics people would go out side and seek someone to talk to. before TV i knew all my neighbors and in the evening sat on their porch or driveway and talk. I have not done that since the arrival of TV and computers. I could not pick my neighbors out of a line up, or know who they were in a store. but then I prefer it that way.. part of my genetics. I rather read.
Very interesting. I've rarely felt lonely but at times, felt isolated. Especially between aging and many friends relocating... most days I'm pretty self-contained but it can get a bit old!
I am often alone but I am never lonely. If I feel the need for companionship I can reach out and find another person to be with. I think your list is pretty much complete.
I am a loner by nature, but for the past few years I have been too reclusive. I wouldn't say I'm lonely but I know it's not good to never interact with others, other than my husband. It's not healthy. I'm not sure what to do about it. I live in the country and it's not welcoming to say the least. I do think about it. Thanks for talking about this. BTW, I know all of those songs!
I enjoyed the walk down memory lane with the songs about Lonely in them. Amazing how many there are/were! Who'da thunk it? LOL. I love a good phone call even better than a letter. I love to hear a human voice, and I will often just pick up the phone and call someone I haven't talked to in a long time...old relatives far away, etc. My Daddy would do that on Sunday afternoons when I was helping to care for him. He'd say, "I want to call my cousin Louise", Or, let's call my old friend Mr. Marburger in PA., etc. I would find the number and dial it and then we'd both talk/listen on two phones, because sometimes he didn't hear what they said very well, or since he had Parkinson's he couldn't always get his words out clearly, so I would help him and interpret for him. I enjoyed the calls as much as he did, even though I really didn't know the people that well. I learned a lot, though. I kind of miss those Sunday afternoon visits. All those folks are long gone now. I need to make up my own list to call...Thank you for these thoughts. They are great ideas. I already send out birthday cards to members of our church, and that has become a rather expensive pursuit with the cost of postage and cards, etc., but I consider it a part of our tithe and continue on as a ministry to others who may never get birthday cards in the mail. It is a blessing!! Take care my friend in NH! Hope you are staying warm and cozy!
Wow, you sure did your research on lonely songs! I am impressed. What a wonderful idea this is to help lonely people and the elderly! I am so glad you posted about it to raise awareness!
This is a lovely idea and I'm glad that this organization has taken off. I will look into this - I'm pretty sure I would enjoy a handwritten card or letter if I were lonely. I did have times in my life, especially before my marriage, when I felt lonely, so I'm familiar with this feeling. BUT I was mobile and independent at that time - how much worse is it if you are not that mobile and flexible anymore? Thank you, Dorothy, for telling us about this organization.
Between social media (which does the opposite of making people "social") and covid isolation I think a lot of people never realized how much they needed to be with other people so I can imagine loneliness is on the rise. Before the internet I always wrote letters to keep in touch with friends and family...still do. I have spent the last 30 years living alone and several years before that after I left home. You can be living with people and be lonelier than when you are actually living alone and that's the truth.
I have never felt lonely by myself and have never been bored because I have so many solitary type things I have always enjoyed since I was a kid. That was put to the test with covid and my health the last three years. When I was too physically miserable to do the fun things like art, making cards, and sometimes even writing letters...well, anything really...I was blessed by the internet. I could stream movies & shows and YouTube videos. I discovered I still wasn't lonely. I felt bad for all the people who were going nuts in isolation...like my mother. It was very hard on her. (She didn't last a year.) I was unhappy, lonely, and depressed when I was growing up (dysfunctional family) and when I was in a relationship/living with someone. (I think I picked guys who were like my parents--ROFL!) I found out I really, truly do live quite happily alone--no matter how miserable my health is--LOL! Nice to know.
This is a great organization. I had heard of it. I can hardly keep up with the people I write to though. But I did get the information a while back and have hung onto it. Glad you are doing it, my friend. Whoohoo! :)
Letters Against Isolation sounds like a great idea. I can't think of anything similar in the UK. I do enjoy handwritten letters on the rare occasion that I receive one. I don't feel lonely very often as I have a lot of friends and acquaintances I keep in touch with, but I could do with a really close friend other than Jenny.
I did pretty good on the Lonely songs. Now I have a few running through my head..over and over..haha.
Loneliness can be a real problem that pushes towards isolation.
Sometimes I do feel lonely but I have family and friends to reach out to.
Really great subject you brought to our minds. That's what Blogs are good for..sharing with those of like minds.
Sue
Hi Beatrice, We don't suffer from loneliness but it would be a problem if and when one of us dies. I tend to be a loner anyway but even loners need some social contact... We have several widowed friends and we strive to keep in touch with them via the phone or in person when possible. As for clerks and others providing services, I always speak to them...if they're grumpy or not. Sometimes just asking how their day is going seems to brighten up their attitude. Take Care, Big Daddy Dave
i think it is in my nature that i enjoy my own company most ,family gatherings more and social interactions just fine :)
i liked how you brought up this topic because it seems one of the most serious issue of modern age sadly . inventions of modern era has pushed people into illusions of false pleasure as side effects i believe and most of the people wasting their times in likes and followings instead having nice time with loved ones .this is really sad because it is getting on edge with threat of more broken families or relationships to some extent .
thank you so much for introducing the letter foundation what a bliss in such times when same family members sharing table are unavailable for each other the online service provides such a sweet and warm gesture for lonely and neglected souls ! hats off to those who invented it !
sending to you heartfelt best wishes!
Post a Comment