Appreciation

The number of comments on a previous post about a change for future posts was overwhelming. Quite simply thank you to everyone for the comments which were appreciated as I was uncertain about sharing details in the post. Thanks also to those who shared similar situations.

Certainly, the situation described was uncomfortable, and as stated there was no right or wrong. Despite no harm was intended, some folks were rankled at what they perceived was an error on my part. Although at first resisting a reversal, I soon realized that taking a stance wasn't worth any further discord. As stated, family have never read our posts except when sent a link. So, another lesson learned was not only exclusion, but to not send a future link. Thankfully, there's been no repercussions.

In sharing my own situation and hearing about those of some others, I learned, once again, that bloggers are a wonderfully supportive community, who leave positive and uplifting comments when most needed. You rightly should be proud of yourselves.

However, recently there have been a few instances in which a fellow blogger (other than myself) has received some disparaging comments following a post. It was heartening to read that after sharing the incident that other bloggers rallied to offer their support.

Acceptance and understanding without being derogatory is what it's all about for myself and others. We all have differences, not every post will generate a response. In which case, it's far better not to do something akin to what Alice Roosevelt Longworth famously said: If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

Alice Roosevelt

These words have long been credited to the long-time Washington socialite known for her caustic remarks. Alice Roosevelt was born in NYC in 1884 to Alice Hathaway, a banking heiress and Theodore Roosevelt, a New York State Assemblyman and later a U.S. President. Two days after her birth, her mother died of undiagnosed kidney failure. Her father remarried in 1886. She was raised by her father and stepmother and later had five half-siblings.

Of her quotable comments, the most famous reportedly found its way onto a pillow on her settee. Other quotes often attributed to her include: You can't make a soufflé rise twice; The secret to eternal youth is arrested development and perfects most aptly, My specialty is detached malevolence. She was seemingly not the kindest individual.

Thumper in 1942 film, Bambi

Perhaps, a much better quotable saying is this one: If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. These words have various sources, but are best known as coming from the fictional cottontail rabbit character, Thumper, in the classic 1942 Walt Disney animated film, Bambi. It was released by RKO Radio Pictures, based on the 1923 novel Bambi, a Life in the Woods by Felix Salten. In the film, characters are Bambi, a white-tailed deer; his parents, his friends Thumper, a skunk, Flower, and his future mate, Faline.

In the film, there's a scene when Thumper, is corrected by his mother after he makes a rude comment about baby Bambi. In reply to his mother asking, Thumper, what did your father tell you this morning?, Thumper bashfully replies, If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say nothin’ at all. 

Charlie Brown & Snoopy

Good advice that seems harder to follow in a digital age when it is easier to be abusive to others online. Especially when the interface between people is a computer screen. In some cases, it has caused some people to abandon all social media, fearful of others’ harsh terms they've found it easier to give up.

It's sad when thoughtless words negatively impact others. Hopefully, we can continue to be supportive with thoughtful comments — or silence when nothing meaningful can be said.