Monday, September 27, 2010

Waffle Warfare.

One of the latest ploys by the hotel/motel industry to lure you in is the ‘Free Continental Breakfast’. In our travels we have encountered everything from instant coffee and day old pastry from a grocery store to fresh waffles, eggs, bacon, and fluffy biscuits. Sometimes these breakfastP1030635 rooms are a little small and you have to wait your turn. 

But this morning was the first time we had to fight for our ‘free continental breakfast. 
When we checked in yesterday we noticed 2 tour buses in the lot and another just unloading. This is usually a bad omen with regard to breakfast. The group that was unloading on arrival was the Russian National Tourist Trap Buying Team who had been touring the local tourist haunts. The other two were unknown.

Beatrice and i, being savvy travelers and complimentary continental breakfast connoisseurs began putting together a strategy. Set the alarm to wake early (breakfast starts at 4:30 am here) and beat the rushing crowds.

Well the alarm went off, but i don’t move very fast at first light. So when we finally got down we were confronted by a large number of college girls in sweats, which turned out to be the Girls Soccer Team for Southern Maryland State University. They were a tough bunch but we battled our way in. Using standard Breakfast Battle Tactics we separated and opened a two front offensive. I made an end run for the waffle machine while Beatrice secured a table. Luckily the girls were all looking for healthy foods which gave me a clear shot at the syrup and butter. Next came the invasion of the Russian National Tourist Trap Buying Team who began filling their pockets with anything that was not already eaten, and then demanded more. 

We are notP1030638 sure who had the third bus but there were rumors circulating that it was the Professional Bronx Sightseers and Roller Derby Team who had opted out of the ‘Free Continental Breakfast’, and had laid siege to the nearby Dunkin Doughnuts. This was probably  true as we did notice a large number of Police vehicles at the DD but tP1030637hen again it could have been a satellite precinct.
So next time you are lured into staying somewhere that offers a ‘Free Continental Breakfast’ brush up on your Waffle Warfare tactics.


possum said...

When I was studying with the Dalai Lama, we stayed in a hotel with the day old pastry stuff - or the little boxes of cereal and bruised bananas. After 2 days of lots of other complaints, the University opened a breakfast bar for us - all vegetarian and healthy stuff and coffee to keep the entire group awake thru meditation!
I think your Russian Tourist Troops were at the same place as we... you should have seen them mowing over the Buddhist monks and grabbing the food! AMAZING! As the monks would come up from bowing to the invaders, they would see the sideboards were empty! LOL!
Nothing like a bottle of Starbucks and a granola bar anyway... and maybe an apple...
So, we got the University to help out.

Anvilcloud said...

I totally gave up at our last continental breakfast. Sometimes, free just isn't worth it.

Krista said...

This is hilarious! I can just picture you hip-checking some soccer bimbo. LOL!

Anonymous said...

YES, somehow the 'free' continental breakfast has become old and stale. I'm thinking Dunkin Doughnuts (right up the street) from here on. At least the coffee is drinkable and the baked stuff is fresh, and if i'm lucky Beatrice will buy!!!!!!!!

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