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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Announcing the New dPhone 1.5

That's right folks, the revolutionary dPhone 1.5 from Guacamole Communications is debuting soon but you can get ahead of the crowds by preordering one of these amazing pieces of technology. The dPhone 1.5 has been engineered for people who don't want to endure the hassles of importance. Who are looking for a simpler, gentiler, more laid back way of life. And now thanks to years of reverse engineering by Guacamole Communications you can finally take back your quiet, sedate lives.

Notepad
So what does the amazingly simple, stylishly elegant dPhone 1.5 come with??

To start Guacamole Communications has added a must have notebook feature. Easy to use. Simple to open. Just use the included universal writing utensil to jot down important notes, grocery lists, or just doodle for relaxation. Artists will enjoy the freedom of expression the NoteBook feature gives them. Sharing your thoughts has never been easier. No need for Wi-Fi of expensive cellular data plans. Just tear off the sheet and hand it to someone. 
Adress book
Next an adress book comes right with the dPhone 1.5. Designed alphabetically so anyone's address or phone number is right at your fingertips. No more tiny buttons to push or winkie displays that are impossible to read. Just straight, simple entries that almost pop off every page. And you will never have to endure a mechanical voice mis-pronouncing an entry again. Keeping track of important dates will no longer be an exercise in dexterity.
  
Guacamole Communications has made great strides to make
Calendarsure you never again forget those important dates. Forget the little arrows, the tiny keys, the virtual keyboards that require years of practice touching a screen to get the letter you want and just one of them. Now Guacamole Communications lets you use the universal writing utensil to enter your dates right on the calendar. To change a date simply use the preinstalled eraser mechanism on the universal writing utensil to clear the entry and add your change. No necessity to use a delete key and lose your entire calendar. Clean, and neat. It is just amazing how this feature will aid in your scheduling.

Have you aPaperairplanelways wanted to try texting? Well now Guacamole Communications   has made sending a text as simple as it was when you were younger. Along with the other amazing features of the dPhone 1.5, you get a supply of specially designed, aerodynamically  engineered text message vehicles. And no Wi-Fi or expensive Cellular data plans are needed. Just use the universal writing utensil to jot down your message, follow the guide lines that are preinstalled on each aerodynamically  engineered text vehicle, and launch your text message. Stylish and sleek lines will set your text message vehicle far apart from all the rest, and definitely will get attention. With the revolutionary Guacamole Communications aerodynamically  engineered text vehicle, your text will always be remembered.

 And one more thing. Guacamole Communications has made the primary use of   dPhone 1.5 easy and elegant by returning to the traditional method of reaching another person. Yes, the way we've reached others since the days of A.G. Bell has returned.  Now packaged with all of these new features, the dPhone 1.5, the most amazing and revolutionary return to the technology you've trusted for years, is the only device you need to keep your life on track.
    
dPhone 1.5
And One More Thing!!!!!! The dPhone 1.5 is CONTRACT FREE!!!
A convenient cyber slot has been placed on the rear to insert cyber coins. A true pay as you go.

No contract. Cyber coin compatible. Great, easy to use features included. Simple dialing. The revolutionary dPhone 1.5.

And one last thing!!!!!! If you find one,,,, you're dreaming…..
Grenville (heading to My hammock for some therapy).

18 comments:

thecottagebythecranelakeolof1 said...

I really must get myself one of those :-) :-) :-)

Have a great day!
Christer.

Butterbean Row said...

That is too funny! I love it!

charlotte

Sandra said...

as soon as i quit ROFL i will comment. this is to to to funny. who knew i was texting when i was 8 years old with Johnny poppell on the back row of my daddys church? 1952 texting, and i was good at it. the biggest laugh of all was deleting the entire calendar...

HermitJim said...

Hey! I must be farther along than I knew! I remember some of these features...I think!

Finally, something even I can handle!

Mamabug said...

I'm laughing so hard right now!

Debbie said...

good one....i read every word and you really had me ;)))

Ginnie said...

Ah...if only it could come to pass!

DeniseinVA said...

I needed a good laugh. Thank you!!!

Maple Lane said...

Very funny!!!

Elaine said...

Whadda you mean, new? That's what I've been using for years now. Except I don't have the coin feature. Mine has a handy crank mechanism.

Montanagirl said...

HaHa! Love it. Ah, life used to be so much simpler.

possum said...

AT LAST! Technology I can understand!
Actually, we still have an old black dial phone still in use in the kitchen. It came with the house and actually has superior sound... You sound like YOU, and not like some tinny voice at the bottom of a mine shaft.
Wish I did still have G-ma's old crank phone.

Doris said...

Too funny!!! What ever happened to the simple way of doing things....I'd head to my hammock too, if I had one =)

Out on the prairie said...

That is good. The only time i have texted was sending a message back to a gal saying I don't text.Like to heaar or see a voice myself.

A Quiet Corner said...

LOL! It sounds like you need a good long rest in that hammock!!!...:)JP

Anvilcloud said...

Very clever, Grenville. While I stay current to some degree with computers, call phones are not my thing. At all. One guy I know (well ... on the intrawebby thingie) has ordered the new iPhone. His configuration costs ~$1000. Yikes!

Margaret said...

I have one of those newfangled pocket calendars in my purse. Right next to my smart phone. I prefer to use the paper calendar!

Maki said...

LOVE IT!!! Keep up the good work! I
sure needed that! A laugh is a wonderful thing!!!
Laughingly yours,
Maki

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