Thursday, December 31, 2015

Oh No, Not Again

Yes kids, its that time of year again. Christmas is past. Many of the toys are broken or at least missing parts. AND some of us are running out of notches, and leather, on our belts.
So What Does All This Mean?????

Its RESOLUTION TIME AGAIN. Yes, that dastardly deed of making New Years Resolutions is upon us. Now be truthful here, How many of you kept your Resolutions from last year? Let’s see those hands!!!! Be honest. So how many at least made it to the end of the first month? I thought so.

Well maybe you went about this Resolution making thing the wrong way. And I don't mean keeping the resolutions. Maybe you did not choose your resolutions wisely grasshopper! So, this year, instead of a list to possible resolutions, I’ve developed 

“Grenville’s Guide to Making Resolutions.” 
An inspirational guide should aid in making sustainable resolutions. Resolutions that, when kept, will make you look like the hero you really are. So here goes.

Grenville’s Guide to Sustainable Resolution Making

1. Only make Resolutions that are FUN. Let’s be real here, getting up 2 hours earlier than normal so you can go to the gym and sweat, strain, and over exert yourself IS NOT FUN. No matter how you sugar coat it, stuff like that is no fun, and therefore doomed to failure. Face facts, some of us could spend 24/7 at the gym and the only 6-Pack Abs we would have is if we held that 6-pack in front of us coming through the door.

2. Only make resolutions that are easy. Growing a beard is easy. Well if you’re a guy that is. And its kind of fun. Losing 50 pounds is not. Taking a nap every day is not only easy, its really healthy. Naps are so under rated in our hectic world. Consider that extra 50 pounds “Cuddle Material.”

3. Only make resolutions that you really want to make. Do you really want to be nice to that person who always mocks you in front of others. The person who does this just so they look better that their usual disgusting selves. Come to think of it, weren't they the one used to stuff you into your school locker after taking your lunch money? How ‘bout turning down that promotion so some undeserving, ineffective person get a little ahead. Of course. if the prime objective was getting rid of them, like a transfer to Siberia, then it might be OK. Or to watch them utterly self implode would also be acceptable.

4. Resolutions should have an expiration date, like milk. They say that fish and relatives begin to smell after 3 days. I’ve always found that to be also true for Resolutions. They always sound so good at the beginning. Then the boredom sets in. Next, you start seeing the difficulty involved. Then the realization that this may drag on forEVER. All Resolutions need a Sunset clause.

5. Never make a resolution that involves a challenge, especially with someone else. Why would you want to tie yourself down to another person. What if they are an over-achiever. You're never going to catch them. Depression will begin to set in. Or worse, if they are an under-achiever, they will be dragging you down, down, down. Like a drowning person who holds you under to stay afloat. Then you will both be losers. No No No. Resolutions should be singular with lots of options, like the next one.

6. Always incorporate a RESET option. There is nothing like a good reset. This is not

just true in computers, but resolutions also. Sometimes, you need to reassess a situation. Drop back 5 and punt. Get a new perspective. Wait until the urge to succeed wheres off.

7. Surrender Clause. This may be the most important. If the reset didn't work, the expiration date is too far in the future, AND you come to your senses and realize that this is not fun, not easy, and you really never wanted to do this, then the Surrender Clause is for you. Admit your abject failure and drown yourself in fudge while you wallow in self pity.

So you may be asking, What has he resolved for this coming year?

1. Bring the Princess her coffee in bed every morning, by candle light in the winter. (something I’ve been doing for 16 years)

2. Cut down on smoking. (i have not had a cigarette in 16 years, but have inhaled going         past the Cigar Store )

3. Take one day a week and do something i really want to do.

4. If something doesn't work, take a nap and think about it.

5. Try to limit any challenges with others (except making the Princess happy) to a minimum, superficial and half hearted at best. (I missed the competitive gene)

6. Reset all of the above. That punting option i’m going to leave to NFL guys. Instead, I will refer to #4 above.

7. Keep the home fires burning, so the fudge doesn’t get too thick.

So, Kids, that’s what I’m thinking of and considering the possibility of looking at the many options that these Resolutions could or maybe could not hold for me this coming year. I’m exhausted now and need a nice long nap while the snow continues to fall outside. Now where did I put that RESET button?


Rebecca said...

I like number 1. Gonna show it to Lee☺️

thecottagebythecranelakethree said...

No resolutions for me, I know I won't keep even the fun ones :-)

I wish You a good ending of this year and a good new one!


William Kendall said...

More naps is a good resolution.

Emma Springfield said...

I have only one resolution. It is really important to me. My resolution is that I will make no resolutions!

L. D. said...

I enjoyed all the resolutions. I know how hard it is to make changes once it is a habit but I do attack things that make my life be more negative instead of positive. You two have a great New Year's day.

Ginnie said...

Dec. 31st, 2015 ... HAPPY NEW YEAR ... dear Blogger friend ... and all best wishes for you and yours. I look forward to receiving your comments in 2016.

Michelle said...

Happy New Year!

Anvilcloud said...

I resolve not to make any resolutions.

Ludwig Keck said...

I resolve to adopt Grenville's resolutions #3 and #4, good for at least this day. I resolve to visit The Frog & PenguINN regularly - it is warm and comfortable being with friends. This one I know I will stick to throughout the year.

Happy New Year!

diane b said...

Sound advice. I don't even bother to make resolutions because I know I can't keep them. I like the one about a nap.

Connie said...

These are good guidelines to follow. I don't do very well with resolutions, but still keep hoping for self-improvement just the same.

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