Saturday, March 16, 2013
How the 3-Way Light Bulb Saved Civilization
Then came the "Compact Florescent Lamp Conspiracy". The light bulb industry conned the government (not difficult these days) into believing that CFL's would save energy, save money, save the economy, get them all re-elected, and thus save the world. The politicians swallowed it fuse, wire and electron. Visions of World Domination dancing in their heads (unless they were sitting of course).
What the Light Mizer (who is considering a run for President with all the profits) didn't reveal was that these new CFL bulbs would cost 3 times what the old ones cost (bulb guys were liking this), would last longer (so whole factories could be shut down), would give off no heat to help warm a room in the winter causing your heating bill to increase (oil guys loved that), and could not be dimmed thus eliminating all romantic intimate moments.
BUT the most nefarious element of this whole conspiracy is its direct connection to the Environmental Cleanup Industry. Break one of these cold hearted lamps and you release highly toxic Mercury gas and dust all over the place (the mercury industry was glad to finally have somewhere to dump their poison), contaminating large areas, possibly causing neurological damage, and possibly costing you thousands (yes i said $$$$THOUSANDS$$$$) of dollars in cleanup since specialized equipment is needed.
So why all of a sudden am i on this rant?????? Well like a lot of folks, i didn't do much research when these supposed dollar saving beauties came on the market. I admit, dollar signs flashed in my eyes. Maybe that "Round the Country Train Ride" was within reach. An "All American Triple Play"...Save money, Save the economy, Ride a train!!!!!!
Then a friend (who must remain nameless for her own protection) told me to check out the CFL dangers.... I did, and so can you at Snopes.com or American Scientific.com.
Being the usual calm, rational, and level headed person that i am (HEY!!!!! I heard that snickering in the background!!!!!), this morning after breakfast i found the box of old incandescent's we had in the attic and started ripping out those evil CFL's as quick as i could.
Gone the harsh light of CFL's,,,, back the warm, fuzzy, intimate glow of the old 3-ways of my youth. Civilization is saved (at least here at the Frog & PenguINN).
I cant wait for night fall..... 30 watts of intimate romance glowing throughout the house......Beatrice has no idea what she is in for, heh, heh, heh.....