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Saturday, March 16, 2013

How the 3-Way Light Bulb Saved Civilization



Remember the good old  days of warm incandescent light flooding our lives? The cozy feeling it gave to every room in the house. And the special lamps that offered three different brightnesses??? Remember those???? Ah yes, 100 watts for serious work, 70 watts for relaxed reading, and those very special 30 watts for intimate moments (those with small children, i will explain this intimate thing in a later post). Yes, it was the light of civility, gentility, and romance....

Then came the "Compact Florescent Lamp Conspiracy". The light bulb industry conned the government (not difficult these days) into believing that CFL's would save energy, save money, save the economy, get them all re-elected, and thus save the world. The politicians swallowed it fuse, wire and electron. Visions of World Domination dancing in their heads (unless they were sitting of course).

And lurking in the background, the Alien Light Mizer (who is rumored to be an Alien life form from the planet Alkeida) was tallying up the fortune that he would amass as Patriotic Americans ditched their warm fuzzy incandescent's for the harsh florescent light of the coming New Age.

What the Light Mizer  (who is considering a run for President with all the profits) didn't reveal was that these new CFL bulbs would cost 3 times what the old ones cost (bulb guys were liking this), would last longer (so whole factories could be shut down), would give off no heat to help warm a room in the winter causing your heating bill to increase (oil guys loved that), and could not be dimmed thus eliminating all romantic intimate moments.

BUT the most nefarious element of this whole conspiracy is its direct connection to the Environmental Cleanup Industry. Break one of these cold hearted lamps and you release highly toxic Mercury gas and dust all over the place (the mercury industry was glad to finally have somewhere to dump their poison), contaminating large areas, possibly causing neurological damage, and possibly costing you thousands (yes i said $$$$THOUSANDS$$$$) of dollars in cleanup since specialized equipment is needed.

So why all of a sudden am i on this rant?????? Well like a lot of folks, i didn't do much research when these supposed dollar saving beauties came on the market. I admit, dollar signs flashed in my eyes. Maybe that "Round the Country Train Ride" was within reach. An "All American Triple Play"...Save money, Save the economy, Ride a train!!!!!!

Then a friend (who must remain nameless for her own protection) told me to check out the CFL dangers.... I did, and so can you at Snopes.com or American Scientific.com.

Being the usual calm, rational, and level headed person that i am (HEY!!!!! I heard that snickering in the background!!!!!), this morning after breakfast i found the box of old incandescent's we had in the attic and started ripping out those evil CFL's as quick as i could.

Gone the harsh light of CFL's,,,, back the warm, fuzzy, intimate glow of the old      3-ways of my youth. Civilization is saved (at least here at the Frog & PenguINN).

I cant wait for night fall..... 30 watts of intimate romance glowing throughout the house......Beatrice has no idea what she is in for, heh, heh, heh.....


11 comments:

Sandra said...

i still use the three way and have never stopped. i love the three way, and they are in every lamp. the kitchen has the hated fluorescent long bulbs but i can't afford to change the fixtures

Tojav said...

I still have stock of the old incandescent bulbs. A new? Led are good, but expensive.

Tammy@Simple Southern Happiness said...

We stocked up on the old ones but we do have some of these new bulbs in some lamp that are in the front room just to show someone is home from the outside.

I do not like the new bulbs at all and having the government tell me what bulb I can use is going a bit too far. WE stocked up on the old bulbs and will get some more before they are totally one. I wonder if the government will have people case the neighborhoods to see if folks are using the old kind. Seem we are going back in time....what happen to freedom? Are we losing it?

Lois Evensen said...

I not only HATE the new bulbs, I HATE people telling me what I can and cannot buy and use even more.

Montanagirl said...

We still have a lot of the old type bulbs. I don't like the flourescent light bulbs at all. The lighting is cold and unfriendly. We do have a few in the house however.

Country Gal said...

We tryed a few and didn't like them we stick to the old three way bulbs here to ! Good post though ! Have a good day and a Happy St Patty's Day !

Out on the prairie said...

I need a 3 way for a vintage floor lamp next to my desk.It has been running on one setting for over a year.

Elaine said...

I much prefer the good old three-way bulb, and that's what we use in the living room. Until they can come up with a better alternative or we can't find any more that's what we will use. We have replaced some of the ceiling bulbs in the kitchen with LEDs, and I think there are CFLs in the garage, but you can't beat the soft lighting of the incandescent.

Anvilcloud said...

Interesting and perhaps correct because this info is new to me. But to all people who didn't switch just because they prefer the colour of the light or can't live without 3-way-lighting, I say, "How shallow."

OldBikeRider said...

My experience is that they DO NOT last longer, emit RF (Radio Frequency) noise - matters to me as I am a ham radio operator - and do not allow me to tell is my socks are black or blue, resulting in fashion a faux pas which might affect my chances of being elected president.

I have been led to believe that one day in the future it will be against some law to sell real bulbs. When that day comes I hope to have enough old bulbs to sell on the white market to pay for my decontamination tax.

Linda said...

CFLs are an example of greenwashing gone astray. They not only contain toxic mercury but recent articles have shown that they can emit UV rays that damage skin!

I've got a couple cartons full of old-style bulbs in the closet. I only use CFLs outdoors. We break a fair number of bulbs here (I say we but could say "he") and I don't need any more neurological problems than I already deal with.

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